STRESS

Stress ?

We live in stressful times. We are holding down two or more jobs. We are putting up with heavy job loads and unreasonable demands. We are swallowing outrage and frustration with unfair situations and irrational superiors because we cannot afford to be laid off or fired. Or we have already been laid off and we are struggling to find another job. Or we have given up and are coping with unemployment.

Outside strains like these are called stressors. Stressors are the barely-tolerable pressures that bring us unhappiness and, eventually, disease.

Some people hardly seem to be affected by stressors. They maintain a sense of perspective and a sense of humor. They remain calm in the midst of adversity and catastrophe. Other people are overwhelmed by a lesser number and intensity of stressors and slide downhill, losing relationships, jobs, and eventually their mental and physical health. What makes the difference?

Inner Strength

While it may seem that our problems are entirely the result of the enormous stressors in our lives, our mental balance and the degree of functioning of our nervous system actually determine how we feel and respond, and that is far more important. Which is better: to be exposed to few stressors but be overwhelmed by them, or to be exposed to many stressors and respond with grace and humor? Mental balance, normal functioning of the nervous system, grace, and good humor are all aspects of natural inner strength. The important question is why so many of us don't have the degree of inner strength that would protect us from stressors and would allow us to express our inner creativity and intelligence fully, resulting in a happy, productive, successful, and fulfilled life.

If inner strength is natural and normal for some people, what limits it for others? What causes inner weakness?

Stress: The Stored Effects of Overloads

Stressors can cause overloads. Examples include the physical and mental trauma of living through a car crash, enduring the pressure of many or difficult jobs, or even receiving a sudden pleasant shock, such as of unexpectedly winning a lottery, inheriting a fortune, or catching sight of a beautiful sunset. The fact that we can relive these experiences in dreams and that they elevate our fight-or-flight hormones shows that they have a negative long-term effect on our health and happiness.

Stress is the response of the nervous system to stressors that are too large to handle. It is the internalized result of external overloads. It consists of stored abnormalities that serve to protect us from repeated exposure to the same overloads by limiting our functioning. An analogy may help make this clear.

Consider modern buildings. They are protected from electrical fire by a system of separate circuits, each protected by ts own circuit breaker that interrupts the current in the circuit whenever there is an electrical overload, whether caused by using too many appliances or by a short-circuit. In the absence of circuit breakers, the intense heat caused by the high current could result in serious fire. If one or two breakers are tripped, the building still functions. One can run an extension cord from an outlet that is still working to where one needs it. It's not convenient, but it's much better than having just one breaker to protect the whole building.

Like a modern building, we hypothesize that the human nervous system has a distributed "graceful degradation" mechanism that protects it from serious damage when it is overloaded. While we haven't as yet identified it in terms of anatomy or biochemistry, researchers can observe the very real negative physiological and mental effects of stressors on people over time, using measurable effects such as reaction time, anxiety, trust, anger, memory, creativity, problem solving, skin resistance, EEG, blood pressure, and blood chemistry, among others.

Stress-Building Beliefs

Perfectionism

Do you feel a constant pressure to achieve?

Do you criticize yourself when you're not perfect?

Do you feel you haven't done enough no matter how hard you try?

Do you give up pleasure in order to be the best in everything you do?

Control

Do you have to be perfectly in control at all times?

Do you worry about how you appear to others when you are nervous?

Do you feel that any lack of control is a sign of weakness or failure?

Are you uncomfortable delegating projects to others?

People Pleasing

Does your self-esteem depend on everyone else's opinion of you?

Do you sometimes avoid assignments because you're afraid of disappointing your boss?

Are you better at caring for others than caring for yourself?

Do you keep most negative feelings inside to avoid displeasing others?

Competence

Do you feel you can never do as good a job as other people?

Do you feel your judgment is poor?

Do you feel you lack common sense?

Do you feel like an impostor when told your work is good?

Yes answers indicate potential road blocks to a stress-free work life. Challenge these beliefs. Experiment. Try acting in a way that is opposite to your usual behavior. Then, evaluate the results. For example, if you feel overburdened because of a need to control, delegate a task and observe the consequences.

Become aware of how your stress-building beliefs affect your behavior. Replace them with more realistic and less stressful thoughts.

Stress Builders and Stress Busters  

Stress Builder: "I'll never get this project in on time."
Stress Buster:"If I stay focused and take it one step at a time, I'll make steady progress."


Stress Builder: "My supervisor didn't say good morning. He's probably displeased with my work, and I'll get a bad evaluation."
Stress Buster:"I'm jumping to conclusions. My supervisor may have been in a bad mood. So far all my evaluations have been positive, so unless I get some negative feedback, I'll assume my supervisor is pleased with my work."


Stress Builder: "I can't get my mistake on page 53 out of my mind. The paper is ruined. I have disappointed everyone."
Stress Buster:"No one is perfect. I did my best. I'm overreacting to one mistake when the overall report is fine."


Add Stress Busters to your work life. Your ability to handle difficult challenges in the workplace will improve and the benefits will transfer over into other areas of your life as well.

 Stress Buster Techniques

You get in bed at night and instead of falling asleep, worried thoughts race through your mind
like a movie on fast-forward. Work, family, money, errands, social engagements, the gym - what
if you can't get everything done? Rather than relaxing, you're tense and stressed out, which only
leaves you feeling frazzled the next day and more likely to actually make mistakes.
According to a 2007 study by the American Psychological Association, Washington, D.C., 48
percent of Americans report regularly lying awake at night due to stress. But this worrying isn't
just tiring and counterproductive: it's actually hard on your overall health.
"There's good stress and there's bad stress, and it is important to make that distinction,

"Exercise is stressful for your muscles and bones, but that is good stress. You want to reduce the bad stress - when it's overpowering and takes control of your life."
Bad stress can lead to heart attack, stroke and the release of stress hormones, which may serve you in the short term, but not in the long term. Prolonged exposure to these hormones can damage your brain, muscles, organs and immune system. They can also boost your heart rate and blood pressure, as well as negatively affect your ability to think clearly, learn and remember things. But you don't have to start worrying that you worry too much. Just take the following seven steps to suppress your stress and be a happier, healthier you

1. Get enough sleep
It might be worrying that's keeping you up in the first place, but when people don't sleep well,
they won't feel well the next day, and they are much more likely to continue feeling stressed out.
If you are experiencing major sleep troubles, you may want to meet with your physician to be
sure that you don't have a serious medical condition, such as heart disease, asthma or sleep apnea. no matter what you have to do the next day, don't go to sleep until you are actually tired. "A person can't arbitrarily advance their sleep time all that much," he says. "Let's say you have a 5 a.m. flight, so you want to go to bed three hours ahead - no way. The best thing you can do is go to another room other than the bedroom and do something mundane, such as reading or listening to music until you are finally tired." The resulting sleep may not have quantity, but it will be quality.

2. Never worry alone
The most powerful resource you have for reducing worry is human connection. When you are
alone, worry can quickly become toxic; when you're with someone else, you tend to problem
solve. Talk over your problems with a trusted friend or family member and focus on finding
solutions. Stay aware from negative people who reinforce fear

 
3. Collect the facts
If there's something in particular that's bothering you, do a little research on it to see if you can
abate your concerns. You could spend your time worrying that you have a major illness, for
example, but it can be taken care of right away if you go to the doctor. Even if it is a major
illness, you will be better off knowing as soon as possible.

 
4. Make a plan
It's better to be active than passive when it comes to stress maintenance. Planning a course of
action to remove unnecessary stressors from your life helps you to feel more in control. Write
down what you want to accomplish that day, including non work activities. Learn to be flexible if
the plan doesn’t work.

 
5. Exercise
Research shows that physical exercise is absolutely crucial to well-being. It is a far healthier anti anxiety remedy than taking pills, and also strengthens your mental acuity." Get regular physical exercise three to four times a week.

 
6. Never self-medicate
Doctors agree that many people will turn to alcohol, drugs, smoking, food and other compulsive
activities such as gambling when they are stressed out. This can lead to addiction as a way of
escaping those feelings of panic and stress. While these actions may feel like an "escape" in the moment, they will ultimately lead to numerous health, financial and even legal problems that can create a more stressful reality.

 
7. Devote time to introspection
Regular prayer and/or meditative time have a beneficial physiological effect on the brain.
Scientists aren't entirely sure how it works, but meditation can produce a deep state of relaxation and give you a sense of calm, peace and emotional stability. Even better, it can be done anywhere, from a bedroom to a bus to an office desk, and it's free!

so guys this is Roy Jacob Signing Off Hope my blog will be helpful at-least to some extent

 

so cheers Guys 

With Love R.J

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                  A Perfect Date

A perfect date needs two imperfect people who give their best to get close, knowing that they are just different, its an act  performed  by two people with the aim of each assessing the others suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship. The most common idea behind the date is two people trying out a relationship and exploring whether they're compatible by going out together in public as a couple, who may or may not yet be having sexual relations. This period of courtship is sometimes seen as a precursor to engagement or marriage.

Thus a perfect date is all about how you make each other comfortable and make them feel as you are the one with whom they can sit for hours, talk anything they want, and share the secrets that is known to the individual only ,the first date itself decides whether the relationship can be established between the two people.

Therefore folks just take care of some things that has to be really taken care of for a perfect date

• Begin a regime of looking your best. Join a gym, read health magazines, get fit and start a diet. Get your hair cut or styled and begin a new regime of good grooming or beauty treatment. Though it will not find you a date in itself, you will feel a million times more confident about yourself, and others can sense that.
• .Do try to always look your best and be punctual. Showing up late or looking messy gives the impression that you don't care -- and, if that's the case, why go out with this person in the first place?
•  Do try to enjoy yourself on dates. Yes, finding your soul mate is serious business, and it can sometimes even be a scary endeavor, but keep in mind that this is supposed to be fun.
•  Do compliment your date on how he or she looks. Men and women tend to put a lot of effort into getting ready for a date, and it's nice (and flattering) to hear that all that energy paid off.
• Do be interested and interesting. Ask questions, share insights and pay attention when your date is telling you what they like to do, read, watch, listen to, etc.
•  Do tell someone directly if you're not interested in seeing them again. Lying and stringing people along simply because you're too scared to tell them the truth is selfish and hurtful. If you don't want to go on another date with someone, let them down as gently -- but firmly -- as possible.
• Do date only people you're attracted to, no matter what your friends say. Approval by your peers doesn't prove a thing.
• Do stay positive, even when dates don't end well. It is most certainly true that you will date a few frogs before you find a prince. Along the way, you will probably meet some pretty nice people.
• Do plan ahead. Dating is a creative diversion that requires concentration and energy, so make arrangements ahead of time and let your date know you put some thought into the evening.
• Do be proactive about finding people to date. The man or woman you've been searching for your whole life is probably not going to come ring your doorbell and beg you to go to dinner anytime soon. Dating requires action, so get out there and meet as many people as you can.
• Do surround yourself with positive, like-minded people who are dating, too. Part of the fun of dating is celebrating, comparing notes and commiserating with your friends. Surround yourself with positive people who are rooting for you to succeed at love and will be there for you if/when you need emotional support.

DaTinG DonT's     

                                                       

•  Don't call, text message or email someone you've just started seeing more than once a day unless they reply (or in the event of an emergency). Desperation and instability are major turnoffs.
•  Don't date the kind of people who've hurt you in the past. Many of us are attracted to people who are bad for us, but it's important to break these patterns and seek out healthy relationships with matches who won't demean you or make you feel bad about yourself in any way.
•  Don't be late for a date. It's just rude. If you have to change your plans, give the other person as much notice and consideration as possible. And always apologize.
•  Don't lie to your date or about any aspect of your life, even if the truth isn't as sexy or you're worried they won't like it. It would be awful to ruin a potentially life-changing relationship with your perfect match because of some silly lie you told early on to impress him or her.
•  Don't be too available. We don't mean you should play games, but if you're free every night, you're probably not taking care of yourself, pursuing your own interests and spending time with your friends -- which means you're probably not very interesting to talk to. People with full, exciting lives make the best dates.
•  Don't give away too much about yourself at the beginning. Revealing your innermost secrets on the second date can lead to rejection. Don't be scared to open up, but remember that getting to know someone takes time, and you should let your relationship evolve.
•  Don't check out other people when you're on a date. Ever. This is just tacky. You may think you are subtle, but while you're scoping the cutie in the corner, your date will be heading for the door. Extend your partner the courtesy of concentrating solely on them while you're with them.
•  Don't be rude or get drunk on a date. Courtesy and manners will get you everywhere.
•  Don't ignore your personal safety. Carry your cell phone and keep it charged -- and make sure to tell your friends where you're going and when you'll be back. First dates should take place in well-lit public places. Don't ever let yourself be coerced into going anywhere or doing anything that makes you uncomfortable.
•  Don't give out personal information like your home phone number or address on the first date. Keep these details to yourself until you trust the person you're dating.
•  Don't have sex on a first date. If you like someone and are interested in getting to know them better (and possibly having a relationship), sex on a first date will likely ruin everything. It's much too soon, it's not romantic and it communicates to the other person that you're more interested in their physical characteristics than in finding out who they are.

 So dear folks always take care of this small things to have a great date and trust me it works


So cheers always
R.J